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| Find Your Calling Boot Camp Might Help Identify or Clarify the Purpose Behind Your Life and Career by Leslie Godwin, Career & Life-Transition Coach Author of "From Burned Out to Fired Up" |
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| "OK, so how do I know what my purpose is?" asked my friend Debbie over a cup of coffee the other day. I had just given her a wordy, but very enthusiastic, explanation of how important it was that she not only find a career path she could do, but one that would express her purpose in life. So hers was the natural follow-up question. I wished I had an answer. I've known Debbie for years. I have always admired the professionalism and care she puts into her work marketing wellness programs and doing health education presentations. I've also admired how gracefully she handles the challenges that life sends her way. And she's raised two daughters who are going to make the world a better place in their own ways. But I wished I could somehow pull out of her what her purpose is. This is where being part of the Psychic Friends Network would come in handy. ~~~~~ I used to write a newsletter which had an unusual, lengthy title, "Use What You Do to Become Who You Are." But that title phrase expresses a lot of what Debbie and I discussed: A. That becoming who you truly are is of higher importance than what you do. (A good reason not to identify with each success or failure.) B. That you can use your vocation to understand, develop and express your true self. C. That there are an infinite number of things you can do, but you should choose from those that allow you to develop your true self and avoid everything that interferes with that process. I'll just cover the first of these in detail in this article – that becoming who you truly are is of higher importance than what you do. I started my first consulting business years ago with the idea that if you found the ideal career, you'd be able to find your higher purpose in that career. My whole worklife had been leading up to that idea. As I discuss in my book, I was a "passionate workaholic" for many years. In other words I had all the symptoms of workaholism but thought that that impoverished lifestyle was a great goal to aspire to. I even tried to be a better workaholic, until (thank God) I finally had to admit I was a failure at it. Once I realized how great it was to do something I loved so much, was good at, and seemed to help people a lot, I wanted to teach others how to do this. My problem was that I still felt that work held some kind of mystical answers that would fill in the void caused by a lack of meaning in people's lives. My experience of being so passionate about my work made me think that this was where my sense of self and inspiration should come from. And it seemed logical in a certain way. If I saw people who were burned out from doing work that drained, bored and frustrated them, then if I could help them find meaningful, satisfying work, that would solve their problem of not having a purpose in life. Since then, I've come to believe that work is simply one vehicle to a higher goal. Instead of teaching that finding the right kind of work is the goal, I developed my theory that the path (not the specific job) is the goal. ("The Path is the Goal" is a chapter in my book, "From Burned Out to Fired Up.") (A little over a year ago, my husband and I had a baby. Chasing Tristan around all day is the most meaningful job I’ve ever had. I think that’s because being a mother is always pointing me toward something higher and away from gratifying my ego.) ~~~~~ But Debbie was still wondering what to do about her dilemma. I realized that she needed to get out of her day-to-day life for a couple of weeks, since it reinforced her anxiety about not knowing which direction her career path would take. Her anxiety led her to grab at several different opportunities which kept her busy, but used up valuable time she could be spending developing her true career path. Boot Camp What I suggested is that she put herself through a two week "boot camp" to get out of her current way of looking at her career and give herself a chance to immerse herself in the search for her calling. This boot camp would include both structured and unstructured activity based on what she feels would provide the best results. I suggested a combination of meditating, journal writing, reading specific books (please email me for the list,) listening to music that makes you feel creative or inspired, as well as walking and other exercise. You may want to add other elements that allow you to be contemplative and relaxed, but motivated at the same time. I am not very good at sticking to a regimen, I admit, but having a set schedule can speed up the creative process since you call upon those faculties every day at the same time. Those of you who meditate already understand this. If you meditate at the same time every day you can get into the meditative state more quickly and easily. If you write at the same time each day, you eventually feel the words flowing more freely. And if you exercise at the same time each day you don't need to argue with yourself about whether or not you're going to work out. Thinking creatively, tuning into your intuition, and meditating all conjure up the idea that you need to wait for inspiration. Then something brilliant will pop into your head and you’ve created something great. Luckily for most of us, that’s not how it works. Basically, if you show up everyday and do the grunt work, after a while, ideas flow and your mind clears of clutter because you’ve trained your mind to be receptive. How Long Will it Take? You may not need two weeks of boot camp, or you may need much more. It depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If you're trying to change a lifetime's worth of bad habits or a career's worth of burnout, you might need four to six months of evenings and/or weekends dedicated to this process. If you're trying to fine-tune your mission statement to include some new insights you've had about yourself or your career, a weekend might be just perfect. An important aspect of boot camp involves tolerating not knowing the answers so you'll come up with deeper and more useful ones. This is truly the hardest thing I ask my clients to do – to tolerate their anxiety until it doesn't intrude on their search as much. Don't let your anxiety push you to find quick (also known as wrong) answers. And don't let your fears, excitement, or wild hunches boss you around. J.R.R. Tolkien was reported to have said, "All who wander are not lost." It takes some determination to wander unselfconsciously, but once you start enjoying wandering you'll lose your fear of getting lost, and you'll be fascinated by the interesting and unexpected scenery. "The end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." ---T.S. Eliot |
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